i was once quite lovely, now i'm something else (the_hippy_chick) wrote,
i was once quite lovely, now i'm something else

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general malaise...

what is wrong with me? i mean, i know whats WRONG wrong, but i've just been in this keep-my-head-down-stick-close-to-home funk. sure i needed a break from the big bad world after the work-hell of last week, but i think this recent pinched nerve is just a manifestation of my greater fear of engaging in life. if i'm in pain, i can feel justified not leaving the house.

maybe i need my meds adjusted again. or healthy food. or therapy.

because...i love my new apartment, my new kitty tucker, and yes, i even kinda love that boy. (he does have the bluestblueyblue eyes...)

but i miss twinkle with fresh pain everyday. i can't find the energy to ever finish unpacking, or go to the gym, or even do the laundry. curling up in bed and hiding is not helping. i need to get the fuck out and see some new scenery or have a conversation at the coffeeshop or walk through that lil bit o' nature we call the back bay. i need to do something besides obsessively crave mi casa and pick lint out of the carpet. work calls all the time, nights, weekends, whatever. but thats just an excuse. if i tell gina i'm taking off for the weekend, well then what can she do? maybe i should just GO this weekend, maybe joshua tree, maybe palm springs, just somewhere vast and lonely to clear my head. maybe.

anyhoo. gotta work. be back later.
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